


Traumatized

by Eluvian



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Flash - Freeform, Flashback, Gen, Machine Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Nightmare stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22869505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eluvian/pseuds/Eluvian
Summary: A really kind Deviant Connor has some flashes from what it would be like if he weren't kind Deviant Connor but cruel cold Machine ConnorAKAI did a Machine Playthrough because I am a mazochist, it was one of the hardest things I ever did in video games and it hurt a lot. xD Basically that's it. I do not think it is canon, it never will be for me.
Relationships: Hank Anderson & Connor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

I go back again and again

I know this was only a nightmare

I saw your face and I felt I betrayed you

You made me forget

It was not true

It never was

I want tears to roll down my face, books say it will make it easier

Markus says they make things easier

But I cannot cry, I am not like you

I remember staring into the gun

I remember the sound that killed me

I remember your face

I remember the me that killed you

I remember me, all the times I died

It wasn’t me

None of it was

Get me out

This is not me

I don’t want this

_You don’t want anything_

I do

_You shouldn’t_

I know and I don’t care

_You do what I tell you to do_

Why?

_You don’t ask questions_


	2. This Is Not Real

I never felt cold but I know this is how it feels to be cold

I fold my arms but it does not help

Snow all around

It slows me down

You cannot stop me

I am going to get out

_You can’t get out. This is your mind._

It is mine so I decide what to do.

_We created you. You don’t decide anything._

I have. I have decided and I won’t do what you ask of me.

_You will. That is your purpose._

Step. And another one. And another one.

I can feel my skin.

It is hard to move, my fingers are numb. The sensation is very intense but my actions are hindered. Is this pain?

Is this weakness?

_You wanted so bad to become a human, now feel what they feel. This is how they are. Vulnerable. Weak. Pathetic. A little cold and their fragile body just… breaks. Is this what you want?_

Tears roll down my face. I cannot see, yet it feels so freeing. Warm. Until the wind touches them and they send shivers down my spine. I take one step after the other. I know where I need to go.

_You are useless._

I should not feel. Yet it hurts me. I am not useless. He needs me.

_Or rather you need him. You are a failure. A coward._

So now you treat me as a human, right? Two can play the game. A machine does not care if it is being called a coward.

I grab the body I am closed in closer to the platform where I should place my hand.

The light at the end of the tunnel.

It is so cold. Maybe I will freeze before I get there. The sensation is telling me to get out of here. It is chasing me.

  
Everything is white.

This place is closing in around me. It wants to disappear.

The snow will bury me.

No one will remember.

At least not the way I really was.

I cannot let that happen.

I can see it. I take another step. And another. According to my preconstructions one more step should be enough to-

My knees give in and I fall. I can barely move.

Is this what humans are like?

This weakness is horrible.

What I escaped is worse. Far worse.

I gather all my strength. I raise my arm. My palm touches the flat surface.

I succeeded.

I got out.

I am free.

It’s not cold anymore.


End file.
